Today is MY independence day

I know I've been pretty much non-existant around blog-land.  I've got some issues that I've been trying to handle and I decided it's time to hold myself accountable.  I'm declaring today my independence day!  I'm about to get real here for a minute..

I'm 34 and (I can't believe I'm typing this) almost 200lbs.  If you've seen me in person, you are aware of the fact that I am "height challenged", so I am roughly 70lbs over weight.  HOLY CRAP HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?????  My body is not handling this mass well.  I am an emotional eater.  I soothe myself with food.  I've GOT to make changes.  I've got a husband and 2 kids that need me around.

Before I continue, let me give a little back story on some things you may not know about me.  In 1997 I had a breast reduction.  I was NOT overweight at the time and I was between DDD and E.  This was the first "best thing" I have ever done for myself.  About this time last year I had a hysterectomy after YEARS of issues with my period and trying just about ever kind of birth control known to man.  Without getting too graphic, let's just say I was on my period WAY more than I was off.  This was the second "best thing" I have ever done for myself.

I think I started struggling with with weight around 1998.  It was always very roller coaster for me.  I was in a really good place, weight wise, right before I got pregnant with A in 2005, things have gone downhill ever since.

I started noticing some strange changes once I went back to work.  I was CONSTANTLY nodding off at my desk, I even fell asleep on the toilet one day.  Always tired and no matter how much sleep I got (even Ambien induced sleep) I had no energy to speak of.  I decided that I really needed to start some form of exercise so I started riding the stationary bike for 20+ minutes a day.  After almost 3 weeks, while I didn't expect any drastic change, I had gained like 4lbs.  Then came the pain in my left breast... After seeing the GYN, a mammogram and an ultrasound there's something there.  The radiologist is pretty confident that it's just scar tissue from the reduction.  I go back in 6 months for a re-check.  I'm still trying to decide if I should push for a biopsy.  With all these doctor visits I was getting comments that my blood pressure was a little high, so I made an appointment to have a little chat with my primary doc.  We came to the conclusion that I do in fact have high blood pressure and he thinks I may have sleep apnea (I get to do one of those fantastic sleep studies).  So, now I'm on BP meds and another med that keeps me awake.  I'm starting to feel like a new person already!  But this is only the beginning of the battle.

And now the part where I make a promise to myself to start eating better (I don't really think I eat THAT bad, but I can make better choices) and keep exercising.  Today will mark the first ever great fridge and pantry purge in this household!  One of my best mommy friends is working on turning her (air conditioned) garage into a home gym of sorts.  We're gonna be work-out buddies!  I'm dead serious about this... I WILL DO THIS!

As an incentive (and major motivator), when the first 20lbs are gone I get my next tattoo!  So there it is.  All spelled out for anyone to see.  Happy independence day to ME!